i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
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