Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize