After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
