i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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