yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
