Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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