There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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