ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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