it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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