you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
