HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Holy shit dude........stairs
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
