For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
