since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
