Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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