Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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