you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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