i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
