she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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