Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
