Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize
