You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
