you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
