Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
