I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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