he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
