Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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