You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
