How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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