well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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