$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
