wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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