so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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