I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
