I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
