Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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