so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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