yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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