she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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