i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
