I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize