Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
