i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize