I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
