Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
