Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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