No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
