I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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