Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
