well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
