Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
MIDGETS
????
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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