So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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