Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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