You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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