Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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