so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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