Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
