so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
