it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
