it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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