their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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