I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
