your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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