Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
