The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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